Holy Week - Spy Wednesday

Just learned it’s called “spy Wednesday” Judas had agreed to the terms of betrayal today. Jesus was getting ready for the last supper. He travels back to where he is going to have it and tells his disciples (if I remember correctly) to go say they require the upper room. Traveling to die, the only thing I can relate it to is a prisoner on death row who knows his hour is at hand. I can’t imagine traveling to the place where they are gonna take me to be crucified. Most times when we get a tip we dodge danger. Jesus was the tip and still went ahead with it, fulfilled the prophecy. I can’t imagine how he felt telling His disciples over and over again that He must die and they didn’t really get it. I might have slapped someone (let’s be real, it’s frustrating when you have to keep repeating yourself). He was still teaching His disciples despite everything that was gonna happen. Judas then going to agree with the Pharisees to betray him  and I know we all look at him and are like how evil was he. Let’s think about it, was he really? I mean compared to us and what we do now for money or how we throw people under the bus. We betray everyday and have disguised it as needing peace for our mental health. We don’t love others  the way we should, bless those who curse you. We cut them off, people say only do stuff for your people or those who do stuff for you. Check up on those who don’t check up on you but we don’t, we cut people off. Everyone hurting, it’s hard but God have us the Grace to do this and if you pray for strength to do this He will give. Jesus cursed a fig tree in their journey and the disciples were shocked with how quick it withered. He was showing them true power but was also telling them the ultimate leader is a servant leader. I wonder what I’d do if I knew I had only 48 hours to live. Would I make peace with everyone? I’d probably write letters to my loved ones and a few people. God uses me to bless His people at the right moments, it ain’t me it’s all God. It’s not just with money but words or attention and things like that. This week is the biggest decoration of love we would ever see. My God fully God and fully man laid down His life for me. That’s why the devil has done his best to make this the egg holiday and take away the importance of it. I can’t wrap my head around the emotions He must have been going through at this moment. I would break, I know me. I’d break down and cry. I’d probably not get up on time or get up extra early to bitch and vent so my disciples would not see me. I can take a lot but this would break me, really it would I cannot lie. I love people (try to) but this will be dare I say too difficult for me. I gotta spread joy this Easter how I can.  I’ve never tried to experience this before and the more I do, the more I can’t help but say God is good, like God is really good. I feel unworthy of His love because who can do this, no hidden motive nothing. Like look at the stuff we do and He knew all this. He knew we would still do this but still laid down His life for us. It’s amazing though, really.