It’s crazy how this day seems all but good. They take Jesus to Pilate who can clearly see that He is innocent yet he doesn’t release Jesus(this is after his wife had that dream and warned her husband). I would think a ruler wouldn’t fear the uproar of some Jewish folks but he did, by washing his hands clean of whatever they did to Jesus he soiled them. At this point I would have been thinking of calling some angels to beat up everyone, it must have been annoying having to submit to lesser beings but Jesus stayed focus because He was doing this for me. I would have probably thought of backing out if not actually backing out and having God say you gotta do it. I can’t imagine the pain and suffering he went through. The Roman’s knew how to whip people, and we all know soldiers are trained for war. Having soldiers beat you up even now is crazy. Jesus was still thinking of others through this ordeal. No one talks about what His mom was going through, we all know how moms feel for their kids. She must have been shattered and yet Jesus says to her go with John and He tells John take care of my mom. He still prays for those accusing and beating Him. He has time to give eternal life to one of the criminals on the cross beside Him. Jesus was having an Uber bad day X10, on a normal bad day for me I try to avoid people so I don’t take out whatever is bothering me on them but He didn’t do that. I can’t imaging shouting “my God why have you abandoned me”. For the very moment the presence of God was not with Him, can you imagine living without the presence of God? That means you don’t feel hope, all the joy, peace, happy and all those things come from the presence of God. All I’d feel is despair, hopelessness and all of that. It’s mental to even begin to imagine laying your life down for your enemies. Praying for them is hard enough but to die for them while they still acting like enemies yoooooo. I can’t even fathom anything He must have felt today, maybe He kept telling Himself it’s for the greater good. It’s our plan to conquer death, but one thing I understand is He truly loves me. It’s hard being like Jesus though I try but I still fail at it. People forget Good Friday is like one of the most important days in the world because of this sacrifice.
3/30/2024
Holy Week - Good Friday
Holy Week - Maundy Thursday
It’s crazy to think that Jesus went into a dinner knowing He was going to die the next day and that’s not the worst part. He washes the feet of the person who is gonna betray Him. Not only that but He dips bread and gives to Him and then sends him on his way with clean feet and a full belly. I know how I struggle like being in the same place with some people who I am pissed at (not everyone but a few people are really despicable). I can only imagine what His human side was saying. I would struggle to focus on anything, the day is here, I’m gonna die and not in a quick way but in a really painful and shameful ways I will be flogged, spat on, shamed, disgraced, insulted….. all for who? People who gonna sin again, judge their neighbors not show love to everyone? People who are gonna replace the significance of this period with egg hunting!!!!! Like I at this point would have been like God you know we can make new ones!!!! Yet in all this He washes the feet of His disciples and gives one of the greatest lessons we should follow but we don’t always, to serve. To serve those around you, above you, beneath you. This is love, Like proper love. How many times have i had opportunities to show love to someone and I don’t. I mean Jesus still Loves me and wants the best for me. He came to die for me on a cross, He came before I was born but knew exactly who I am and what I can become. All I have to do is follow Him. I think of all the martyrs who really suffered for Christ and all I gotta do is resist the devil and say no to my flesh with no fear of being shot, hung, beheaded or boiled alive. How many times have I willingly refused to show others the love of Christ. Everything good thing in me is truly from Him because God is good. Like really God is good and I finally get the real meaning of good. Good cannot exist without God and God without Good, it’s in His nature to be Good. So if God good and good is God why don’t we strive to be Good. I can begin to imagine how I would have got out of bed this morning ( I doubt I would have slept at all), my mind replaying times where I’ve seen people at their worst and at their list horrible. Jesus is a gunnel king who rode in on a really small type of donkey and went out on a cross. I know how Thursdays can get in the office, everyone knows tomorrow is Friday and gotta get everything done so you meet up with the weekly quota or whatever. So you don’t look bad at the Friday meetings (for those who do those) so indeed business was picking up today only for it to turn into the greatest ever show of love between the one true Deity and His children. I like to think of other gods like Zeus and the rest, they come down in disguise as humans to sleep around, kill, cause havoc and all that but they never dropped their powers to experience what I am. To atone for sins that I did, and to still please on my behalf for sins that i am and will do. I think we focus too much on Christmas (I guess it comes with the holidays and the new years and stuff) but Easter doesn’t get the proper respect it deserves amongst Christians. It’s only because of the events that happened during Easter that I get to be a part of eternity.
Holy Week - Spy Wednesday
Just learned it’s called “spy Wednesday” Judas had agreed to the terms of betrayal today. Jesus was getting ready for the last supper. He travels back to where he is going to have it and tells his disciples (if I remember correctly) to go say they require the upper room. Traveling to die, the only thing I can relate it to is a prisoner on death row who knows his hour is at hand. I can’t imagine traveling to the place where they are gonna take me to be crucified. Most times when we get a tip we dodge danger. Jesus was the tip and still went ahead with it, fulfilled the prophecy. I can’t imagine how he felt telling His disciples over and over again that He must die and they didn’t really get it. I might have slapped someone (let’s be real, it’s frustrating when you have to keep repeating yourself). He was still teaching His disciples despite everything that was gonna happen. Judas then going to agree with the Pharisees to betray him and I know we all look at him and are like how evil was he. Let’s think about it, was he really? I mean compared to us and what we do now for money or how we throw people under the bus. We betray everyday and have disguised it as needing peace for our mental health. We don’t love others the way we should, bless those who curse you. We cut them off, people say only do stuff for your people or those who do stuff for you. Check up on those who don’t check up on you but we don’t, we cut people off. Everyone hurting, it’s hard but God have us the Grace to do this and if you pray for strength to do this He will give. Jesus cursed a fig tree in their journey and the disciples were shocked with how quick it withered. He was showing them true power but was also telling them the ultimate leader is a servant leader. I wonder what I’d do if I knew I had only 48 hours to live. Would I make peace with everyone? I’d probably write letters to my loved ones and a few people. God uses me to bless His people at the right moments, it ain’t me it’s all God. It’s not just with money but words or attention and things like that. This week is the biggest decoration of love we would ever see. My God fully God and fully man laid down His life for me. That’s why the devil has done his best to make this the egg holiday and take away the importance of it. I can’t wrap my head around the emotions He must have been going through at this moment. I would break, I know me. I’d break down and cry. I’d probably not get up on time or get up extra early to bitch and vent so my disciples would not see me. I can take a lot but this would break me, really it would I cannot lie. I love people (try to) but this will be dare I say too difficult for me. I gotta spread joy this Easter how I can. I’ve never tried to experience this before and the more I do, the more I can’t help but say God is good, like God is really good. I feel unworthy of His love because who can do this, no hidden motive nothing. Like look at the stuff we do and He knew all this. He knew we would still do this but still laid down His life for us. It’s amazing though, really.
Holy Week - Fig Tuesday
Apparently this is the last day Jesus taught in the temple, I can’t imagine teaching knowing what’s about to happen. Like Judas been there the whole time, Jesus knew what he would do and yet He made sure He fed us. Imparted wisdom before He left us. He cared and still cares for our needs, He knows what’s best for us. Most times when I’m deeply stressed from work and other stuff I can’t focus. I do help people during my difficult times but it’s not easy. Your mind is all consumed and stuff but I find focusing on the needs of others does help your situation. I can’t imagine how bad it must have felt for Jesus, knowing this because it’s never easy. Our flesh (at least mine) is very selfish, I try to out my self in the place of Jesus during Holy Week and I thank God I’m not a divine being because I would fail my subjects. I called them subjects God calls us His children. The thought of dying for people you don’t feel deserve it or are worthy doesn’t make sense. Helping others who hurt us, helping others who do bad things (we all do) it’s crazy though.
Holy Week - Holy Monday
The closer it gets the more anxious I would feel. Things I can do easy I get anxious (a little nervous sometimes a lot) right before I go out and do them. I kill it but the nervousness is human nature. The closer it gets I can’t imagine how I’m like yooo so I’m gonna die on Friday. Not just a death but a painful death. I will be flogged, stabbed, thorns on my head, like dude just that alone could make me bail. Even if I agreed to it I wouldn’t be the most pleasant person ever. I can only hope to be even half the man Jesus was. Do you think He was able to eat right or sleep even because we know how He sweats blood at the end of the story. Like a part of the story that I’ve missed out on up until today was He healed people after He chased the traders from the church. Like He flipped tables and sent people out and immediately when back to healing and caring for people. I don’t have that kind of switch, I’d need a few minutes or a couple hours to get my beating right. Heck might need to watch an episode of only fools and horses. Religious anger is ok, to be angry at the sin and condemn it and still care for the sinner. This is really hard to do, like I know how hard this is because it happens often and is still gonna happen till we die.
Holy Week - Palm Sunday
Palm Sunday, as Jesus rides in on the donkey I can’t help but think that He might have been looking at the people who were gonna be shouting crucify Him at the end of the week. Like this true act of Love, that He was gonna die for them and me who wasn’t even born yet but considered in this master plan. Knowing that the gentiles would be included as well and not just His chosen people. I can’t imagine if I would have been able to keep my cool, even if I was like I would go through with it (on that day). There might have been some sort of disgust on my face knowing these same people I am about to die for are gonna betray me. I would have really doubted if they were worth saving, like as a human I know the kind of thoughts that would race through my mind. I’d probably be even scared a little (a lot), I’ll be bold in some moments but when I’m alone with my thought and I imagine the crucifixion yooo. Like Jesus was fully God and fully man but i can’t help but think what the man side of him would have been thinking.