It's leviOsa, not levioSA!

 Does your heart ache? Do you know what it feels like to constantly look at your phone hoping the person you want to talk to responds? Have you ever felt like you are no longer a priority in a persons life? The pain is real but thoughts are endless. Wishing that you are put out of your misery, knowing that if the person comes back you’d be happy again. You’d forget this pain almost in an instance, well what of this pain has become familiar. Doubt creeps in, the pain wishers I’ll be back in a few months. You wonder if it’s true, is it better to love in fear or live with heartbreak? The why is a stinker, the would this happen again is a killer. Can that person promise you this will be the last time, after you’ve given your all and thought this was it. You’ve  forgotten how to life was without her, without her you feeling incomplete. But the thought of one person having this much power to hurt you and they do repeatedly is haunting. You gave up everything, the lonely nights wishing she was there. The horny nights where you force yourself to sleep, the days where FaceTime isn’t enough, the  days you get jealous of others and their girls. The funny part is you don’t regret anything and still hope it’s good, prayed to God over and over again. The one person you need to talk to to talk about this is the same person who ain’t talking to you. The answers to your prayer is becoming the focal point of your prayer. How does and answer become a question, pain like this should not be felt. Like that crossfade song just when I thought I was invincible you went and happened to me (great song by the way, also check out so far away, starless, cold, already gone, colors) I pray it gets better, I pray for you like I always do. I feel like I’m living the of mice & men song never giving up on you. The me who started this is not the me who is ending this post, now I feel hope. I can’t give up on you, it’s too easy to let this go. No way, writing this is like God speaking to me. You will probably never read this but to those who do never give up. I hope to give you a more happy post about this in a few days but till then God bless you and God keep you all. I hope this post will be of great encouragement to someone out there.