Happy Birthday dad

Dear dad, Its Feb 26 again so I guess your a year older, Idunno but I'll still celebrate it. Everyone is good, we've grown up done things (not proud of all) but hey we made our mistakes and learned from em. Moms really good like she is so different now, stronger, wiser, more in control. She stepped up and held down the roles of both mom and dad, and she did(is doing a great job). I like writing letters to you, it helps my writing ooooo I write real good, (Dr. Alex best writing teacher ever really helped). So many of your friends came through for us (the ones we did not know) I call them uncles now cuz to me they are blood (random point, ignore the poor punctuations and stuff thanks). I've met so many great people, grown into a pretty decent dude you would be proud. Everything is just so great, dad you are awesome and I love you for all what you did. Taking me to play tennis every Sunday while your friends brought their girlfriends who were like half their age, you had nothing to hide from us and took us. Thank you for all those random times you'd pass buy and scratch my head, I didn't do nothing special but you still made me feel loved. I promise to be a better father to my kids, a great husband to my wife because I owe them that. I have you for a dad... So happy birthday dad, Idunno what I am gonna do today but hopefully there is cake. We got this so there's nothing to be worried about. Its so funny how I turn into a kid when I write these things to you, truth be told we grow up and stuff but we would always be someones kid and I have no problem with that. And (I know your not meant to start a sentence with it but hey) you and mom did such a great job I'm not that hard to spot I'm that dude not in the corner but in the middle trying not to blend in cuz there aint nothing wrong with me. So this is me not mourning, but celebrating life. Yours cuz you are so awesome I can't help but remember you.

New Year, New Smell, New Tear.

So i wrote a dear John letter last year, so......... enjoy i guess.

Dear john,

As I write this I am overrun with emotion, the thought of you telling me you love me and would do anything to make me happy runs through my mind. You are a beautiful human being and a person like you comes around once in a life time. When you told me you want to marry me, it was a real heart warming moment especially when I realized a person like you wants to make me his life partner. I was touched in a way I have never been before, you made me feel like a princess whose prince had come to swoop her off.her feet. With all this going through my head writing this to you has become quite the challenge
Because I can't get married to you, I'm sending this to you to let you know that I am ending things with you.

I am a free spirit and I'm not ready to be caged, there is so much I want to do, things I want to see and things I need to experience. I can't be with you because to fully discover myself I have to cut all ties with everything and everyone around me. I want to go knowing no one is waiting for me, that I am free to yo out and discover me and not have you here wondering where I am, what I am doing or I am with. It would not be fair to both of us. John I love you so much and will always care about you but if I don't do this I am going to regret this for the rest of my life.

I know making this decision by myself is selfish, but you must understand the severity of the matter if it means saying goodbye to you. I want you to move on, live, find someone else and fall in love again. I know this is might be hard for you to understand but you have to trust me its better off this way, if we got married it would be plagued by doubt, depression and discontent. I will question my happiness, my worth and how much value I could add to your life in my state.

I would understand if you hate me, I don't want you to but if you have to move on please do. You have added so much to my life and helped me grow emotionally, I will always be greatful. I hope I was also able to enrich your life as well, you will always have a special place in my prayers and I wish you nothing but good fortune in your life. With a heavy heart I say goodbye, and I hope you will be able to love again because you are a special man and deserve to be happy. I am about to embark on a journey to free my soul and show my greatness, its only right you do the same.

Sincerely



I'm thinking of writing a reply, probably will when I remember.