My day

5.....4.....3....2....1 I counted down with my stalker who was the first person to wish me happy bdae(after my mum shes always first, look out mum ppl r trying to beat u next year). As I got older n wiser(definately still hot, in my old age) but it was fun, Mary,semira n faryda r lyk the coolest ppl in d world. They made today great. Although uneventful n stuff it was really nyc, scratch that it was awesome n I guess that was the event, spoke to mum, chilled with 3 stupidly cool people it should b criminal, then went n chilled with Lambo, Barigha, khan, eddy, n in all that effiong remembered n sent a shout out. Even d Igbo fool onyeka sent some love, after that spoke to lolia on skype which was so much fun although I was tired n slept off(sorry it was 5am) today has been cool,u couldn't take nothing away from it, although jojo is gonna get intouch with me even if it means shes gotta fly to Nigeria. But really it's ppl who made this day special 4 me, it's been a nyc day I've been smiling all through, I dnt lyk big parties n all that, I prefer small things with only ppl I'm cool with that made it all the more special, I really am happy bout the ppl in my lyf, those influencing n will never know. N those who play small n vital roles, it's cool n as I grow older il look back n smile when I think of these ppl n stuff.happy bdae to me n stuff( n paul aka pawul u can make up 4 this with stuff from downtown homie)

Dead......

What does it mean to die? Has it hit u that death could be more than a just u lyk dying. U could die on the inside n still b alive, u could lose the person in u. The thing is dying on the inside is ur empty, ur souls missing u lack ur very essence u lose purpose n direction. U become broken, n when u die on the inside u can never fully recover, u lose a part of u or a whole sector of u. If u lose everything u r at ur most fragile, d ppl around u n what u go through at that point will decide what u gonna become. Who d new u wil b, what ur persona's gonna b bout. Dying on the inside is a steady breakdown of ur soul, n d happy around u ain't enof to help u fix it. To die on the inside means u think a lot n when u get to that point ur ability to deal with things is gone ur crashin n falling n the worst thing is u go through this alone. The worst kinda this is when u can't identify the problem, when u knw smthn or a whole lotta things r wrong but u can't do nothing bout it. D only help u can get is sme1 who survived this n found out where the problem came from, but the thing is u can't truly b helped cuz evey1s got a different problem. Similar in some ways but different, no 1 truly knws how to fix it 4 u. All them books they charge 4 that can fix u n stuff is fake, if u survive smthn lyk this trust me u gonna do it 4 free. What it is, u cnt xplain what's going on to ppl n eventually the quiet dsnt help anymore so all u wanna do is b by urself doing ur thing. It ain't nice being on ur own n most ppl can't just shit up n giv u a hug, that helps with a hug that not only lasts long bit allows u to b at peace with urself. Those can make u cry because at that moment there is the realization that things r never gonna b d same but u hav ppl there to support u in mute is comforting cuz going through this alone is not nyc. But survival is a must so u gotta pick a purpose that is good n noble enof n hope one day that leads u to a good direction. 

A part of me i dnt wanna lose

Sme1 said graduation is the beginning of life. So u telling me once I graduate from uni my lyf real begins, I dnt want it to if that's the case. Peep so all I went through in uni is 4 what, a place is only as good as the people u knw. N 4 me the ppl I'veet n what we've done together, those r priceless. The highs the lows the ups down n what not if u will those r really sme priceless moments n graduation if u ask me is not the beginning it's not a reward, it's more of an acknowledgement that that part of ur lyf really happened n that is the moment that tops it all off. I ain't graduated yet but I knw the type of flash backs have when  graduating cuz I have em ryte now n more is coming. If there's 1 thing I can take from my all this I learnt to adapt. It's this point on ur lyf u cut out the useless people those who gonna tie u down n stuff n keep the cool positive, most likely to succeed a lot(notice I used most cuz every 1 is lykly to succeed). I dnt wanna lose memories cuz I've been stalked by the coolest stalker ever, I've met ppl u aunt blue is who they iz without knowing them, ive learnt a lot, heck I'm living n I lyl living the stress n err thing involved. Makes me know I'm alive n going through all this so I can get the skills I need to b great, so a graduation should be called a new chapter in lyf not a beginning, n it's definately not the end of a chapter in lyf it's just the final moment that makes all that happened real.(effiong u douche congrats u fool. Where is u been looking 4 u lyk crazy)

All it's cut out to be

Do u give advice? Or are u 1 who likes to be given advice, anywho if u r giving advice u gotta b real careful with the delivery, cuz at that very moment u bcome n architect helping sme1 rebuild their mind, at that point u can mess re person up or set em up good. The problem is sme ppl should not give advice(go find what ur good at),I've seen ppl take advice from all sorts n in different manners n some of em is bad. On the reals u never ever ever ever  put a person down when giving advice, u they've done something wrong theirs another way of telling em they've messed up. Whenever I advice anybody I make em knw this what i feel n the final decision is on them always has n always will b. They should pick what they feel best n whatever happensa back u up. That's what I feels beat cuz u advising the dude n not making the decision 4 him n he ain't gonna have to always rely on u. Y do most relationships fail, simple cuz the couples use a middle man instead of sorting it out themselves, that would be easier n if u iz in a relationship doesn't it make more sense to complain bout ur partner to ur partner than to some1 else. Only when u try at first n no result can u bring in some1, giving good advice shouldn't b forced; u shouldn't do it cuz u wanna knw what's going on or just feel u r in control of ur lyf n can help any1 outta any sitch. N even if u can advice good u gotta do it cuz u wanna help n protect the person, there some ppl in my lyf I can't stand to see frown or hurt it's them I wanna help or ppl that r good but bcuz of sme stuff there going through, they r funding harder than usual to get a grip of things. Advicing or giving advice is deeper than the surface level of what it looks lyk, serious thought should b put in it especially on the part of the advicer

The kid in me

Have u lost the kid in u or is it still there, that kid in u could make a difference in a lot of ways. If u ask me maturity ain't letting go of the kid in u, but cutting out the bad parts of the kid. Ain't u noticed that only a kid can have that innocent pure kind of fun almost all the tyme, with not a care in the world lyf just breezes by 4 them till they get older. It's ok to let that kid out every now n then, let loose get ur head empty n breathe again n 4 that split 2nd everything is ok. Ppl say u r mature when u deal with stuff, a kids mind is needed in this process(at least that's what I think)[let me break it down] peep this sitch; ur waiting 4 a flight it's lyk a whole lotta hours late, how will u deal with this. Sme dudes get pissed n start bitchn bout everything. Sme gonna get angry n blame every1, sme gonna take it out on sme1, heres what I do I take d smallest ounce of stupidity from the situation manipulate that. U dnt get peep, I just imagine some silly shit n joke around with that, or I find sme1 lyk me n we do stupid stuff n joke around n stuff when d plane comes lyk 6 hours later I'm blessed, I've been laughing n stuff the most I can get out of the flight is being tyred(n a lil cramp). But it helps, u dnt get angry cuz u knw u cam walk away from sme1 wanting to fight or a stressful situation  knowing u gonna turn that anger into positive energy through laughter n stupidity. That can b d difference between acting without thought or being calm n thinking through a situation. Being a kid is a way of simplifying things that seem complex, I think being a kid has some perks to it n controlling the good aspects of it is maturity. Yeah that's what I think n if u dnt lyk it get off my blog. Hehe

One thoughtless moment

Do u know what could happen in a moment if thoughtlessness,(yes it is a word[I think]) u could throw everything away. That moment u let ur emotions take full control n act on them alone could spell doom. U can throw a lot away by doing that, u could get suspended from school n throw 5 months of a semester away with only 5 days to go. U could lose I'd family by going to jail, get kicked outta work n all that. Not cool, lyf is too short to throw it away just lyk that. Nothing is worth throwing a lot of hardwork away, trust me. The ppl u meet that r being stupid, take dealing with em as a test n 1 u get one of lyfs greatest rewards from, how to deal with ppl. Think bout it the more ppl u learn to deal with d further u can go in lyf, cuz there are those who can test u for real but be easy with em, get through them and advance. Stuffs too real to lose focus ryte now, so stay sharp out there n if u wanna console urself call it being d bigger person, but if u really wanna know wat ur getting from it, it's called experience n thats a no brainer, all the wisdom in the world can't give u xprrience. So take on ur challenge whoever he/she/it/they r n get through.